Moments like these

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I really miss my boyfriend. I can’t stand the pain he’s in. I miss him so much. I just wish I could talk to him about my day, ask him about his, sit there and listen to him talk about things that he loves. He’s the best friend I’ve ever had. Moments like these are so difficult, where I am overwhelmed with wonder and hurt. I don’t like being so far away from him. I don’t like not knowing. I don’t like his suffering. Oh how I feel guilty, selfish, for studying at a university that is so far away.. I want to be physically there for him as he focuses on getting better. Moments like these, where I just break… I realize the brutal reality of my situation. Listening to ‘Late Have I Loved You’ by Gungor on my Spotify is not helping me feel better.  His dad told me that Jerry probably did not want to upset me before tests. I’d rather know than just be completely disconnected. My heart feels so heavy that it hurts.

Although I am overwhelmed, I must trust in Jesus. He’s so good, and although I cannot see it, he’s working. Romans 8:28: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Hebrews 13:5: “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (NKJV). . Philippians 4:6: “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done”

Jerald Update: The doctors don’t know much. They don’t know when he’ll be home anymore. I’m thankful for his cousin Alejandra, for keeping me updated and helping me get through. Please pray for Jerry, for physical strength. Please pray for comfort to my soul in this extremely difficult time.

Praise is who I am: My reflections during my quiet time.

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Praise is who I am. Praise is an act of worship to whatever it is that you serve. You can serve yourself and serve what your desires are. I want to serve God with all of me. I want to fill all of the plans and all of the desires that God has for me. You praise God with thanksgiving through your actions. Your actions of worship can be serving others just how Jesus served, or just worshiping at all times. I want to have a heart of worship. You receive a heart of worship when you decide that that you want to be an act of worship. I want my life to be an act of thanksgiving and a reflection of my gratitude. This means that in every situation, as of now I vow to myself, that I will praise God through the good and the bad, through the happy or sad. I owe it all to Jesus. I owe my life to him. He gave it all for me, he loved me through my brokeness and through my uncertainty. He loved me when I wanted nothing to do with him. He came to my rescue. I want to live for him, because he died for me.

 

“Praise is what I do
When I want to be close to You, 
I lift my hands in praise.
Praise is who I am, 
I will praise Him while I can.
I’ll bless Him at all times.

I vow to praise You
Through the good and the bad.
I’ll praise You, 
Whether happy or sad.
I’ll praise You 
In all that I go through
Because Praise Is what I do
Cause I owe it all to you

Praise is what I do
When I want to be close to You, 
I lift my hands in praise.
Praise is who I am, 
I will praise Him while I can.
I’ll bless Him at all times.

And I vow to praise You
Through the good and the bad.
I’ll praise You, 
Whether happy or sad.
I’ll praise You 
In all that I go through
Because Praise Is what I do
Cause I owe it all to you

Praise is what I do, 
Even when I am going through, 
I’ve learned to worship You.
Though my circumstance doesn’t even stand a chance, 
My praise out weighs the bad.

And I vow to praise You
Through the good and the bad.
I’ll praise You, 
Whether happy or sad.
I’ll praise You 
In all that I go through
Because Praise Is what I do
Cause I owe it all to you

 

Jerald update: Don’t know much, but thanks to his cousin Ally, I know that the doctors are trying to control his pain, and that he’s ready to be home. He’s had more family and friends visit.