Trust: Even When I Cannot see

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I failed today. I won’t go into detail but I let my flesh win. I need to learn to trust with not a single inch of doubt, working on it. I’m extremely overwhelmed with this week and have four tests this week. I move out this week in two days. Jerald had surgery for this pain. The surgery went well. He is still in immense pain. Sometimes I wish that I was in the situation he was, that way I could remove every single amount of pain that he has to deal with, then I remember that I must not question God and all of his will and works. Sometimes I just cannot stand it. Sometimes that is all I think about.

I started this day out praying over today with my friends Namita and Ariel. Before my class I saw my friend Liliana at the bus stop. We prayed over Jerry’s surgery. I know many bible studys and care groups in my campus church have prayed over me and Jerald. I am so fortunate to have such caring and thoughtful friends that are truly a gift from above.

My prayer:

Thank you for keeping Jerald safe and being there in the surgery room. Please be there for him in this difficult time. Prepare him and show him what your plan is. Work in him. Pour out an unexplainable amount of love wherever he his. Remove his loneliness and discouragement. Jesus, do not let me get discouraged. Teach me how to pray. Show me real love. Show me how to love and trust with all of me, selflessly, shamelessly…Forgive me. Never leave me. Give me grace. Give me kindess. Mend my heart. Help me walk by faith.

Jerry Update: Jerry will stay in Seattle for a couple more days to heal. He is still a bit sore from the surgery, but fully there. Please keep him in your prayers.

5 thoughts on “Trust: Even When I Cannot see

  1. Prayers on the wind for dear Jerry…that there may be Light and Love and Healing (in whatever way is required) for him….and blessings on you for your faith. Lastly…please remember to cut yourself some slack….only the Creator is perfect. Love to you, Sister!

  2. iamginamarie

    Father God, Thank you that you draw all who would come, by Your provision in Christ Jesus Your Son. Thank you that you have promised that You draw near to those who will draw near to You. Because of your loving-kindness and undeserved favour of us, because you choose us even while in rebellion against you, I ask that You remind these whom you love of Your constant presence. I ask that though Your presence remains, the reality of it would be felt afresh today. May Your healing for each be as You planned before time, knowing how You designed them and what will draw each to Yourself in ever deeper knowledge and intimacy. I ask for courage to own and surrender to You all that would hinder intimacy and eternal healing. With thanks for the gift of faith You’ve already granted, help them in their unbelief; knowing You are trustworthy, please grant the willingness and ability to trust in Your goodness – even when it doesn’t make sense. You love these ones more than any other can, and it is to Your care I commit them.
    Let these things be

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